LoLoLo, I Got Some Apples
by Last-wonderful
Summary: When Butters gets kicked off Sexy Action News, Craig replaces Butters instead of Kenny. Now, with Butters in his group, and his friends coming out,he starts questioning his feeling for the little blonde. CraigxButters and others.
1. Animals CloseUp With a WideAngle Lens

Craig walked down the street grumbling, Kenny just died and he was fed up with the kid dieing when they were supposed to work on his television show. He continued walking, flipping off random things on his way. He stopped suddenly when he saw a sobbing, blonde and bright blue mess on the sidewalk.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Butters?" Craig grumbled, glaring down at the boy as he flipped him off.

"Oh, h-hamburgers. C-Cartman." Butters sniffled.

"Goddammit Butters, tell me what he did." Craig grumbled crouching down in front of the boy, trying to hide the finger that was unconsciously flipping him off. He was trying to be nice since the guys have been on his case for being such an ass.

Butters took one look at him and suddenly shot forward grabbing onto the other boy sobbing. Craig was used to this since he hanged out with Tweek and Clyde, so he just sighed and started to pat the boy on the back. While flipping him off.

Unlike most people said he wasn't a uncaring asshole, he had a heart. Not that it really showed. If a guy was hurt on the side of the road he'd flip him off, _THEN_ help him.

"Butters, fuckin' tell me what happened." Craig growled, rubbing his face with one hand, face still stoic as usual.

"H-he kicked me off of the, gosh darn, Sexy Action News!" Butters wailed clutching onto Craig.

"Goddammit. Ugh, if you stop crying you can join my show." Craig said.

He wasn't really being nice, he just knew the kid would do whatever he said, without wanting to be paid like Kenny.

"R-really! Jezz Whiz, you'll let me join _Wide Angle Close-Up Lenses_! Oh, Thank you Craig!" Butters cried, hugging Craig again around the middle.

'_What ever floats the kid's boat._' Craig thought.

"Whatever, we got to go to my house so we can decide on new shows." Craig said getting up. Once Butters was up he started walking away, Butters following him with a skip in his step.

-

"So we could maybe do animals in...what?" Craig mulled, spinning in his chair, while Butters shyly sat on his bed.

Craig glanced over to the boy, he was stalk still and kept looking around nervously. Couldn't blame him since he gets screwed over by...everybody.

Psh, he could remember when he'd put Butters up on the tether ball pole by his underwear and repeatedly hit him with the ball...maybe it was last week?

'_Wow,_' Craig thought, '_I can be a real asshole._'

"Hey, if your bored you can play with Stripe. But if you lose, hurt, or harm him in anyway, I _WILL_ hurt you seventh fold, and then kill you." Craig said getting up from his chair and going to Stripe's cage. Well, it wasn't Stripe, it was like Stripe the second. Luckily he kept them healthy, Stripe the first lived for like ten years. Pretty damn long for a guinea pig.

Craig took out Stripe and gently stroked his head. Walking over he softly sat down on the bed, and with one hand grabbed Butters', pulling them over so Stripe could walk between their hands. Butters took Stripe and brought him up to his face to look back into it's beady eyes.

"He likes it when you pet his head." Craig said leaning over and gently stroking Stripe's head. Butters shyly went and stroked his finger over Stripe's head, letting Craig lift up his fingers smiling. Butters sat there smiling and petting Stripe as Craig got up and sat down at his desk.

They did what they were doing till Craig got bored, sighing he got up and sat on the bed. Butters was letting Stripe run across his arms.

"Dude watch this, are you ticklish?" Craig asked, taking Stripe away from Butters.

"Yep! Wait is this some kind a trick, because I-I can be real mean when I want to be! I used to be…_Professor Chaos._" Butters said whispering the last part, leaning forward with a serious nod.

"No Butters, just stay still and I'll show you." Craig said flipping off the naïve little boy," But you _do_ gotta start standing up for yourself ,dude."

"O-okay, but if you try anything! I-I'll...um…I'll...do something real mean!" Butters said nodding with a pout, before going still when Craig glared at him.

Craig sighed again before grabbing Stripe and holding him in one hand, with the other he started to slowly push up Butters' shirt. Butters was about to protest before he got another glare from Craig, instantly freezing him. Slowly Craig pushed Butters on his back and then put Stripe on his stomach. Letting the rodent run around.

"That tickles!" Butters giggled, fidgeting.

"I'm gonna work so you just let him run." Craig said getting up and walking to his desk as Butters giggled from his bed.


	2. Pudding Cups and Slurpees

"Hey Craig, this isn't working!" Butters called holding the camera to his face.

"Idiot, it goes the other way." Craig grumbled walking over. Reaching his arms around Butters he flipped the camera around so he could see threw it.

"There." Craig said, still holding the camera so Butters wouldn't drop it.

"Hey sec, say cheese dude." Craig said aiming the camera at the mirror so they could take a picture of both of them.

"Cheese!" Butters said happily, with a big smile on his face, Craig's face blank as usual.

"Hey, we're done for today. I'm hungry, how about you go grab some food." Craig said after the picture was taken, looking down at Butters.

"Sure!" Butters smiled.

"...…"

"….."

"Why aren't are you leaving yet?" Craig said as Butters didn't move.

"Oh, hamburgers. Your arms are still k-kinda.… in the way." Butters said stuttering. Craig's eyes shot open in realisation and took his arms up quickly. Butters quickly ran down the stairs, blushing red.

Butters tried to carry the two glasses and platter of food for Craig.

Once he reached Craig's door he heard strange noises, putting his ear to the door he listened to the noises. Opening the door and looking inside he saw Craig cooing and making kissy faces to Stripe. Butters giggled slightly when Craig put small kiss on the tip of Stripe's nose, and smiled.

Craig jumped when he heard giggling. Swinging his head towards the door he saw Butters blushing with the food he told him to get in his hands.

"Butters, what are you doing?" Craig snapped, flipping off Butters with one hand.

"Eek! Oh, hamburgers Craig! I-I got the food, I just wanted ta' see what the noises were! I-I swear I won't tell anyone, c-cross my heart and hope to die!" Butters said, stuttering slightly and blushing. Trying not to rub his knuckles together since he was holding onto the food.

"Whatever, just wait for a damn minute. Red Racer is on soon so let's eat downstairs. And, again you know you should really start standing up for your self. I ain't gonna beat ya up or something, dude." Craig sighed, flipping off Butters and putting Stripe away.

The two walked down stairs, Craig going and grabbing the remote while Butters sat down. Craig went to sit on the couch till he realised where Butters was sitting.

"That's my seat." Craig said, staring down at Butters.

"Well golly, you said I should stand up for myself, so I'm not moving!" Butters said with a triumphant smile.

"Ya, with _OTHER_ people! Not me!" Craig said flipping him off, glaring slightly.

"Well, I'm not moving!" Butters said, grabbing onto the couch with a pout.

"Fine." Craig said. Growling he jumped up and laid down on the couch, right on top of Butters.

"C-Craig, oh hamburgers!" Butters said as he tried to get up.

"Will you move if I get up?" Craig said, stretching his neck so he could look at Butters.

"No, I'm taking a stand." Butters said pouting, fidgeting under Craig's weight.

"Oh, really?" Craig said sitting up.

"Yep." Butters said, smiling when Craig got up off of him.

"We'll we'll see about that." Craig smirked, looking down. Reaching out Craig wrapped his arms around Butters and picked him up, sitting him on to the floor. Then he took his seat stretched out across the couch.

"Hey, where am I gonna sit?" Butters pouted from the ground earning a middle finger from Craig. Butters huffed getting up and sat right on top of Craig, starting to eat the food he set out. Craig looked at Butters who was eating. He wondered why this felt different then when Clyde or Kenny decide to be assholes and sit on him. Damn, Tweek has sat on his lap when he's been scared, though now he usually sat on Token or Clyde's lap. Apparently he likes it that they don't swear in his ear every five minutes, whatever floats his boat. But, back to the point, this felt...different.

Was it good different?

Or bad different?

He didn't know?

What the hell is goi-...Red Racers on. Craig quickly forgot the subject and turned to the TV. He sat up after awhile to eat the food, Butters still in his lap."Craig why are those to people kissing?" Craig looked down to Butters.

"Cause they want to." Craig said flipping him off.

"But, they're boys?" Butters said. Craig didn't see the problem, he actually kind of like the characters, they were cool. The producers only brought them in so they could get more viewers when the whole yaoi fad started.

"So?" Craig said reaching for his drink.

"Isn't God angry at them?"

"Pshhhhhhhh!" Craig's drink sprayed out of his mouth, that was about the funniest thing he ever heard. With those words and that face radiating innocence, and with the family he has, how could he not know about gay shit.

"G-god doesn't hate them Butters." Craig laughed, goddammit this boy was way to naive, "That's just what people who hate gays say.".

"Why do they hate gays?" Butters asked.

'_Fuck this kid asked a lot of questions_' Craig thought.

"Because they don't like people being gay? I don't know, dude!" Craig sighed grabbing a piece of pizza from the table.

"Oh. Well, that's not nice not liking people because they're gay!" Craig almost cracked up again when Butters tried to do a little scowl, but he did when he heard Butters talk again."Th-They are a bunch of but-holes, they can just suck my wiener!" Butters exclaimed, making Craig start to laugh and drop his pizza on his pants when Butters got up to reach his drink.

"Sonofabitch!" Craig exclaimed picking up the pizza, why the hell did he have to get extra sauce!

"Oh, J-Jesus Craig! Your pants are dirty?" Butters pouted looking towards the boy.

"No shit Sherlock." Craig grumbled flipping him off and grabbing some napkins to clean up the mess.

"Here let me help." Butters said reaching over. Craig's face instantly went red when Butters started to rub the stain that was over his groin.

"D-dude, fuck. I'll just wash them, you can stop." Craig said pushing Butters away.

"Okay!" Butters said smiling, still oblivious. Craig sighed flipping him off and going to the laundry his pants he put the in the washing machine and questioning if he should put on other pants. He decided to do that and slipped on a pair of sweats and walked back into the living room. He saw Butters was gone in the kitchen grabbing a drink, laying down he continued to watch Red Racer. It turns out that the make out scene soon became a sex scene. He watched it, he realised, it was...kinda hot?

'_What the hell! He's not gay!_' Craig thought. Looking down he growled_, 'Well that's not what little Craig is thinking. Fuck._'

Butters then skipped into the room."Do you want some?" Butters asked, holding up a pudding cup.

"Nope." Craig said, eyes fixated on the t.v..

"It's good." Butters said.

"I'll take your word for it." Craig said.

"Try it?" Butters said holding the spoon out.

"No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"It's just abi-!"

*Whack*

Butters blinked with pudding all over his face.

"Ah...?" Craig blinked looking at Butters. He didn't mean to hit the pudding cup when he flipped Butters off!

"...You owe me a pudding cup!" Craig looked down to see a pouting/glaring Butters.

"Ah!...fine." Craig grumbled, looking to the t.v. to hide his blushing face.

'_Fuck, that pouts adorable….like a puppy! See, adorable like a puppy. You just want to ruffle his hair.…..Yes, that makes it soooooooooooooooo less gay. Fuck, well everyone's aloud a gay thought. I just used mine up. Yep, that's it!_' Craig thought with his inner turmoil.

"Hey Craig?" Craig turned his head, getting out of his stupor, to have something smash into his face.

"...…" Craig looked down at Butters with pudding dripping down his face.

"Payback!" Butters smiled cutely up at Craig.

"...You sonofabitch!" Craig growled, lunging forward and pinning Butters down.

"Eek! Craig!" Butters squeaked, struggling against Craig's hold. Craig grabbed the other pudding cup Butters set down and tried to mash it into Butters' face.

"Fuck, stop struggling!" Craig said trying to make the boy stay still so he wouldn't accidentally get the pudding on the couch.

"Oh Sweet Jesus!"

"Dude?"

"Craig?" Craig looked up at Clyde, Token and Tweek who were standing at the door, looking at him.

"Ah...?" Craig looking at the boys, then looking down to see a blushing Butters , then looking at the position he was in.

"Craig what are you doing?" Token sighed, raising an eyebrow.

"He smashed pudding into my face." Craig said dully.

"He did it first!" Butters wailed, trying to squirm out of Craig grasp.

"Craig get up off the poor kid." Token said shaking his head, watching Craig crawl off of Butters.

"You owe me." Craig said glancing over at Butters as he sat down. Turning his head back to his friends he said, flipping them off, "What the fuck do you want?".

"We wanted to just hang, Red Racers done right?" Token said, going and sitting on the love seat.

"Ya, it's over. Why?" Craig asked, taking a napkin Tweek gave him and wiping his face as Butters wiped his.

"I -Ngh- h-hate that show!" Tweek wailed flinching when Craig glared at him and gave him the finger.

"Ya dude, it sucks. You've seen all episodes anyways." Clyde said plopping down in front of the couch.

"G-Golly, well I like it Craig!" Butters said looking up at Craig in reassurance.

"Thanks Butters, hey go grab me a drink." Craig said leaning back and watching Clyde flick channels. Butters left, soon coming back and giving Craig a drink and sitting down with his own. Craig took a sip, and looked at it. Clearing his throat and standing up, he pointing down at Butters and looking at his friends announced."This kid, who doesn't bitch *glance at Token*, whine *glance at Clyde* or mumble under his breath *glance at Tweek* one I want to watch Red Racer, or when I ask-"

"_*cough cough*Tell._" Clyde interrupted, mumbling under his breath earning the middle finger and a warning glare.

"…..when I _ASK_ to get me food or drinks, is officially in the group. So if you have any complaints shut the fuck up." And with that Craig plopped down back to the couch sitting down, sipping his drink.

"And God Has Spoken!" Token said mockingly.

"Hehe, th-that is how he -Gah- acts, man!" Tweek giggled.

"Thanks to your comments he's now he's my only friend. So get the hell out." Craig smirked, lazily stretching his arms out in a yawn across the back off the couch.

"Oh, jezz that's not nice Craig!" Butters pouted looking up at Craig.

"Ya Craig!" Clyde cooed teasingly.

"At least I don't dream about him." Craig chuckled, smirking down at Clyde.

"There was only one dream! And it was the time Cartman put stuff in the water so it doesn't count!" Clyde said pointing at Craig.

"Oh hamburgers, what are they arguing about Token?" Butters asked, looking over at him.

"Clyde had a dream about you." Token replied, reaching over Tweek to grab some food from the table.

"Really?" Butters said cocking his head to the side.

"Come here and I'll tell you about it, Butters." Token said, waving Butters over. Butters went over and let Token whisper something in his ear, Butters face slowly got more and more shocked as Token talked. When Token pulled away Butters sat there with large eyes and his mouth open slightly.

"What the hell did you tell Butters?" Craig asked looking at the frozen boy.

"About Clyde's dream." Token chuckled.

"C-Craig! I t-think -ngh- he's broken, Man!" Tweek said poking Butters cheek.

"G-golly." Butters mumbled, still staying still.

"Fuck, Tweek. I'll get him." Craig said, walking over he picked up Butters and threw, literally threw, him onto the couch.

"I feel bad for your future girlfriend, dude." Clyde snickered, "Hey, I have an idea! Your parents are out right?" Clyde smiled as Craig tried to get Butters out of his frozen state.

"Ya, and Rubes is at her friends for the weekend." Craig said, snapping his fingers in front of Butters face.

"How about we grab some food, some of your dad's beer and some girls and have an awesome party!" Clyde said jumping up.

"NO!" Token, Tweek and Craig said at the same time. Well Tweek's was more, "_That's to much pressure man!_" But hey it's the same thing basically.

"Why not!" Clyde whined sitting back down with a pout.

"You broke Butters, this is your punishment." Craig said.

"I didn't, it was Token!" Clyde said.

"Your the one who dreamed-" Token said before Butters cut him off.

"I don't want to get tied to a bed and have something stuck up my butt!" Butters wailed, clutching his head, and hitting it on the shocked Craig's chest.

"You told him that!" Clyde said shocked.

"Wasn't that your dream?" Token chuckled.

"N-no wonder you b-broke him!" Tweek pouted, trying to not laugh, as he sat down and rubbed Butters' back.

"Maybe keep stuff PG around Sparkles." Craig laughed. Everyone's heads shot towards him.

"Sparkles?" Token asked smirking."What, it's that or Rainbow Sprinkles?" Craig said, looking at his friends.(I know their stupid, shut up)

"Rainbow Sprinkles?" Token said, repeating Craig again.

"What everyone has nicknames! What's so different about Butters?" Craig said.

"Nothing, it's just that it sounds really stupid." Token chuckled, earning the middle finger in the face.

"Um, Craig?" Butters said doing his little knuckle rub thing.

"Ya?" Craig said looking down at the boy.

"What are everyone else's nicknames?" Butters asked shyly.

"Don't worry Sparkles just call everyone whatever you want." Token smiled, using his new nickname.

"A-ah, o.k.!" Butters said blushing.

"Have you ever had a nickname besides Butters?" Craig said looking down at Butters.

"Um, well Kenny some times call me Buttercup?" Butters said, rubbing his knuckles together.

"How creative?" Clyde laughed.

"B-be nice!" Tweek pouted, tugging on Clyde's sleeve.

"Whatever Sugar." Clyde said, patting Tweek's head.

"Sugar?" Butters said.

"Nickname." Craig said.

"O-oh, okay!" Butters smiled.

"Oh, and don't use these names outside of school!" Token said.

"Ya, don't want anyone thinking were fags." Craig said leaning back on the couch.

"Now what do we do?" Clyde said from the floor.

"How about we grab some movies and have a movie night?" Token said.

"S-sure!" Tweek said smiling.

"Let's go and grab are shit and a movie." Token said getting up, others following.

"U-uh, golly. Um, am I invited, g-guys?" Butters said blushing and rubbing his knuckles together.

"Of course dude! You're are new buddy!" Clyde said smiling idiotically and putting his arm around Butters' shoulder, leading him out of the house with the rest, before grabbing their coats.

"R-really!" Butters said smiling.

"O-of course!" Tweek said walking besides the two boys.

"Oh, golly!" Butters said smiling, face red.

"Hey, what movie are we getting?" Token asked.

"Don't know, how about you ask God?" Clyde snickered looking over at Craig.

"Whatever Squishy." Craig snickered.

"Squishy?" Butters said looking at Clyde.

"Ya, we call him that because he's so squishy!" Token said pinching Clyde's sides. Clyde squeaked and hit Token over the head.

"W-well, I g-guess I find him more cuddly then squishy? Kind of like a teddy bear!" Butters said trying to defend the frustrated boy.

"Hm, is that so?" Token chuckled as Clyde turned red and looked down at the boy in shock.

"How about you give Squishy a hug?" Craig said, "Since he's just so cuddly?"

"Okay." Butters said glaring at the boys for making fun of Clyde. Hugging Clyde tightly around the middle, he suddenly felt something pressing against him.

"Clyde?" Butters pouted looking up at him.

"Y-ya?" The flustered blushing Clyde said.

"There's something pressing against me!" Butters pouted looking up at him.

"Okay, enough before Clyde rapes you." Craig sighed pulling Butters back.

"Hey! You would to if he was pressed against you, he-he's just so...you know!" Clyde said in embarrassment.

"Doubt it!" Token said, smiling at his flustered friend.

"Fuck you, you'd get a boner to!" Clyde wailed, waving an accusing finger at his friends. Suddenly Tweek, Token and Craig pulled Butters to them so Butters' face was pressed against Craig's chest, Token pressed against his back and Tweek's arms around his waist and pressed to his side.

"You got a boner Token?" Craig asked.

"Naw, you Tweek?" Token said looking down at Tweek.

"-Gah- no!" Tweek said, "Y-You Cr-Craig?"

"Nope. Look at that, we're not gay!" Craig said mockingly, smiling at Clyde.

"Fuck you!" Clyde said storming into the video store.

"Hehe, what a fag!" Craig laughed as the boys separated from Butters and walked into the video store. The boys separated to get some movies, Butters thought he found a good one till it was pushed out of his hands.

"Huh?" Butters looked up to see a two big guys with girls hanging off there arms standing over him.

"What a fag, choosing a Disney movie!" One said to make the girls giggle.

"O-oh, well they're good! A-and you now t-that there's always a happy ending!" Butters stuttered, rubbing his knuckles together.

"Hmph, happy ending my ass!" The other said grabbing hold of Butters' shirt.

"O-Oh, hamburgers!" Butters said before being punched in the face.

"Shut up, you mother fucking faggot!" The guy smirked, the other three laughing with him.

-Splash-

"Fuck!" The guy reeled back clutching his face where the scalding hot coffee hit his face.

"Gah! A-are you o-okay!" Tweek said, looking down at Butters.

"You fucking bitch!" The blondes looked up to see the two men growling at them.

"S-shit, C-CRAIG! TOKEN! C-CLYDE!" Tweek screeched, pushing Butters behind him and putting his fists up.

"Back off your little butt buddy, you fucker!" One guy growled, moving forward.

"F-fuck you!" Tweek said, grabbing the mans head pulling it down and hitting it with his knee, knocking him down.

"Sonofabitch!" The other said moving forward, Tweek moved and kicked him in the nuts. Making the man fall to his knees as the other got up, bringing his fists up.

"Bring it you-you SPAZZ!" The guy yelled moving forward. Tweek snapped, fully attacking the man, then the other when he joined in the fight.

"Hey, was up?" Butters turned around to see Craig standing behind him, while sipping on a Slurpee.

"Y-you got to help Tweek!" Butters said, waving his arms towards the fight. One man was knocked out on the floor, and Tweek had the other in a headlock.

"He's fine, trust me. He kicked my ass in grade three(or four), he's a fuckin' beast when he wants to be." Craig said lazily leaning on the DVD rack.

"B-but, Oh, hamburgers! He could get hurt!" Butters said.

"Don't think that's a problem." Craig said pointing, Butters turned around to see Tweek with the man still in a head lock and repeatedly punching his face.

"SAY I'M A SPAZZ!" Tweek screamed.

"Ugh" The guy groaned.

-Punch-

"SAY I'M A SPAZZ!"

"Guh."

"SAY IT!"

"S-Spazz."

"GAH!" With that Tweek punched the man so hard he passed out. Walking over Tweek waved his hand to acknowledge his friends.

"You kicked some ass Tweek!" Craig smirked patting the boy on the head.

"W-well they h-hurt Butters a-and called me a -Ngh- s-spazz!" Tweek said looking up at Craig with big eyes.

"Well, aren't you?" Craig laughed as Tweek grabbed his discarded thermos.

"Ha-ha." Tweek said dryly.

"You o-okay Butters?" Tweek asked, looking towards the smaller blonde.

"Yep, I get hit a lot so...?" Butters said blushing.

"That's not cool?" Token said walking up with Clyde.

"Ya dude!" Clyde said, slurping on his Slurpee.

"G-golly, it's all right!" Butters said trying to fake a smile.

"No it's not! From now on stick with us and we'll watch ya, k?" Craig said putting his hand on Butters' head. Butters looked up at Craig, Craig was shocked to see Butters' eyes filling with tears.

"Oh hamburgers! T-thanks guys!" Butters sniffled, wiping the tears away. Craig pulled Butters to him in a hug, gently rubbing his back. Tweek soon patting his back to.

"Well let's go before people think you're gay." Token chuckled tugging on the boys.

"Hey let's go get some ice cream." Craig said as they left the store.

"Dude, I don't fell like it." Token said, jumping into the limo he called while getting Slurpees.

"Sorry, I'll rephrase that. Were going to go grab some god damn ice cream." Craig said, waving the limo driver towards the corner store. The boys all sighed, not wanting to argue with Craig.

"Why do you want ice cream again?" Clyde groaned, trying to remain standing up by leaning on Token.

"Because I want ice-cream." Craig said looking at all the variety at the corner store.

"Where's Tweek and Butters?" Token asked, realising the two boys weren't with them.

"They fell asleep in the drink aisle." Clyde mumbled into Token's shoulder.

"What, then we got to get 'im!" Craig said suddenly shooting up.

"What why?" Clyde said, being pushed off of Token's shoulder.

"Dude, they're little naive innocent blondes." Token said, looking at the tired boy.

"Dude, they're probably gonna get raped by some creepy old guy." Craig said, standing up.

"That'd be actually kinda hot." The boys looked towards a smiling Clyde.

"Can you stop pitching a tent and hurry up." Craig said walking away, Token following.

Clyde snapping out of it and following three boys went into the aisle to see Butters and Tweek curled up together on the floor, sleeping. Craig sighed picking up Butters as Token picked up Tweek and carried him to their car.


	3. Zac Efron

Craig opened his eyes slowly, he and Butters fell asleep after finishing the new episode of animals with wide angle lenses.

He looked down to see the small blonde, sleeping and clutching tightly to his shirt. He looked down quickly again, something was off. He studied Butters to realise his face was red, with his mouth open slightly as he panted and...was that moaning. Craig jumped when he felt something rub against his thigh. He moved his leg to test if he was right, he guessed right since Butters moaned and rubbed back.

Craig shifted trying to pull away. Butters just came closer to him every time so he was eventually pressed to the wall.

"Fuck." Craig mumbled. He looked around and saw the remote. He realised what he could do:  
A)Let him continue, and sit here awkwardly.  
B)Wake him up and deal with the awkward for the next couple of days.  
C)Watch TV. and let him continue, clean him up when he's done so he doesn't know A.K.A No awkwardness.

It's C.

Craig reached over and grabbed the remote turning on the TV while Butters continued to moan. The remote fell out of his hand when he felt Butters rub against his leg and his hands to rise up to Craig's neck. He looked down at Butters who now was laying his head in-between his neck and shoulder, rubbing himself harder on to Craig.

"B-Butters!" Skrew awkward, this is bad! Especially for some weird reason he was getting hard! And he is NOT gay!

"Butters!" Craig said again, pushing Butters away. Butters swung his leg over his waist and went right back up to Craig, rubbing against him again.

"Goddammit." Craig groaned. He decided it was to much effort and he'd just let Butters continue. So what if he was hard, any guy would get hard by something rubbing against him.

Right?

…..Whatever.

Butters moaned into Craig ear, making him look down at the blonde. His cheeks were pink, and his hands were twisted tightly into Craig's shirt. But Craig was paying attention to his lips, they were slightly open and the most attractive pink. Slowly he lowered his head till he was right in front of Butters face, he slowly inched closer till Butters did a fairly sharp thrust of his hips, making Craig gasp.

"Z-Zac!"

Holy Mother Mary! Did he say Zac?

As in Zac Efron?

As in a guy?

Holy Shit! Craig quickly tried to pry him self away, forgetting the earlier moment, but Butters kept a good hold on him. Craig jumped again when he felt soft lips on neck. He pulled back and looked down at Butters who was know moaning louder and humping Craig's leg faster and harder. Craig decided if he just shut his eyes and thought of something else he could ignore the blonde. He shut his eyes tightly and started reciting his favourite quotes from Speed Racer. He stayed frozen as he felt Butters' arm around his neck again and when one slipped down to his stomach.

"F-fuck Butters. You really got to stop." Craig grumbled, damn Butters.

Butters laid his head down on Craig's chest, panting and moaning heavily. Craig just laid there waiting as Butters finished, trying to pretend he's not getting a boner. It kind of went out the window when Butters gave a sharp thrust of his hips and he came with a loud moan. Know as Butters continued he told himself it was because it was friction, any guy would come from something humping him.

Right?

RIGHT?

Butters finally came with a loud moan and a call for Zac. Craig watched as Butters' eyes fluttered open and looked up at Craig.

"Ah!" Butters screamed jerking back and falling off the bed, Craig just watched blinking.

"Morning." Craig said , stretching out on his back.

"M-morning." Butters said, beat red.

"So...Zac as in Zac Efron?" Craig chuckled, looking down at Butters. He realised he said the wrong thing when Butters eyes welled up with tears.

"Hey!" Craig said jumping off the bed and kneeling in front of Butters, making Butters crawl back.

"I-I'm sorry! I-I'm gay! J-J-Just *sob* leave me alone!" Butters wailed as he was cornered by Craig.

"Dude, is okay!" Craig said looking down at the boy, putting his hand on Butters' shoulder, Butters cringed when he touched him.

"N-no is not! I-I'm a f-fucking faggot!" Butters sobbed.

"No you're not dude. Is cool." Craig said, watching Butters shake his head.

"Dude, I don't care! Remember Clyde's bi?" Craig said reminding Butters.

"N-no he's not! He only had that dream because he thinks I look like a girl!" Butters sobbed, clutching onto Craig when he pulled him into a hug.

"Dude, he doesn't. Because you have something a girl doesn't." Craig said smiling down at Butters, gently rubbing his back.

"W-what*sniffle*?" Butters asked, looking up at Craig questioningly.

"A dick." Butters sobbed harder, hiding his head into Craig's chest.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry." Craig sighed, rubbing Butters back. "Dude, I really don't give a crap. Neither do the guys."

"N-no, you're gonna d-ditch me! A-and *sob* make fun of me, a-and tell everybody at s-school so I'll b-be a-a-a alone!" Butters said finishing with a sob into Craig's chest, shaking.

"Dude, have I ever called Tweek a spazz?"

Butters shook his head.

"Have I ever called Token an n*****?"

*shake head*

"Have I ever called Clyde a faggot?"

*shake head*

"So does it seem I'll do that?"

*shake head*

"K, so calm down. The guys won't care either, trust me." Craig said smiling down at the sniffling Butters.

"A-are you sure?" Butters asked.

"Yep, Clyde will probably be happy he has someone who also likes guys, Token is not cruel, and Tweek can't hate anybody for something like that."

"O-okay!" Butters said, slight smile on his face.

"So how about you go have a shower, your pants might be a little messy. Craig said helping Butters up.

"O-okay." Butters blushed.

"I'll wash your clothes, just leave them in the hall. I'll give you some of my clothes to wear." Craig said.

"Okay!" Butters said skipping into Craig's bathroom. His clothes being thrown out soon after.

"Damn Butters, guess I'll clean up." Craig sighed as he grabbed Butters clothes and put them in the wash, throwing his in to. He walked back into his room, slipping on some clothes and digging around for some of his that would fit Butters. He found some old jeans and a t-shirt. He put them outside the bathroom, laying down on his bed. Remembering what happened and how he...you know!

Grabbing his cell he flipped it open, dialling for his best friend.

"C-Craig, what is i-it? OH MY GOD, are the gnome there holding you hostage making you watch old clips of Jerry Springer! Tweek said into the phone.

"I have a problem." Craig said.

"W-what is it? If it's the gnomes, throw some underwear out the door and go into a ball and stay low! I'll be there in five!" Tweek screamed.

"It's not that Tweek. Well, you remember that time where Token had a wet dream at a sleep over?"

"Yep. S-scared your mom, c-coming in and seeing T-Token humping m-me." Tweek said, pouring himself some coffee.

"Well, Butters had one when we fell asleep at my place."

"Um hum?" Tweek hummed, sipping on his coffee.

"Well, while doing it, I kinda…um, gotoffonit." Craig said rushing the last bit.

"*crash*"

"Dude, you okay?" Craig said jumping up.

"Hahahahahahahahahaha!"

"Not funny Tweek."

"I-I'm sorry! Hmph, j-just mental p-pictures! S-So cute!"

"It's not funny Tweek." Craig growled.

"S-sorry."

"The thing is, I'M NOT GAY! Like dude, any guy would get off from something humping him!"

"I-I guess." Tweek mused.

"So dude, what do I do?"

"J-just think about it. M-maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing?" Tweek said.

"Fine." Craig sighed.

"W-we'll talk about this some more, I-it might j-just b-be a faze. W-wait abit and think a-about it." Tweek said.

"How much caffeine is in your coffee right now?" Craig asked, realising his friend was acting like a fortune cookie.

"A lot." Tweek sighed, smiling.

"Figured." Craig chuckled, starting to small talk with Tweek.

"Craig!"

"Ya, Butters!" Craig called back, putting his hand over the phone.

"A-are you sure you want me to wear this?"

"I put it out there didn't I?" Craig sighed, going back to his phone, which dropped when Butters walked in. He was wearing Craig's sister's clothes, a pair of jean short shorts, pink tank-top, knee high socks and some clips in his hair.

"W-what are you wearing?" Craig asked, picking up his phone.

"Oh, hamburgers. Y-you left these for me, and you also left a note saying to wear these clips."

"Hmph, it's my sister making a joke." Craig sighed, getting up and saying bye to Tweek.

"Hey, Tweek reminded me about the movie night tonight. You wanna go get some snacks?" Craig said lazily.

"Sure! Uh, but can you give me some other clothes Craig?" Butters asked awkwardly.

"Nope." Craig said popping the 'p'.

"Why?" Butters said, feeling abit uncomfortable in the clothes.

"You look fine, and then I'd have to do twice the laundry." Craig said, lazily pulling Butters behind him.

"B-but I'll...look weird." Butters mumbled.

"So?" Craig asked.

"I could get grounded!" Butters said looking up at Craig pleadingly.

"No you won't, aren't your parents out of town?" Craig said.

"Oh, ya!" Butters said happily, skipping after Craig.

"Here, we'll grab Tweek and Clyde on the way back." Craig said throwing a sweater to Butters.

"Craig, this is a girl's sweater!" Butters wailed.

"It matches the outfit." Craig shrugged, walking out. Butters huffed and followed, pulling on the sweater. The two boys walked till they reached the Quickie, walking threw the aisles. Craig kept grabbing some food, soon leaving to look at the magazines so Butters walked around looking at everything, sipping on the Slushie Craig bought him.

"Hey babe, what's a girl like you doing in a place like- Butters!" Butters turned around to see a shocked Kenny.

"Hiya Kenny!" Butters said smiling brightly.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Kenny asked, looking at Butters' outfit.

"W-well, I was at Craig and, oh hamburgers, my clothes got dirty. Then I had a shower and golly Craig wouldn't give me other clothes." Butters said, rubbing his knuckles together.

"What'd you get on your clothes?" Kenny asked, curious of the blush that Butters had when he said that.

"O-oh, um...pizza!" Butters said happily, face bright red as he looked around hoping Craig would save him.

"Hey, Butters! What chips do you want?" Craig said walking into the aisle, trying to hold onto the chips and pop.

"O-oh, maybe Ketchup?" Butters said running over and taking some stuff from Craig.

"K, hey are you cold?" Craig asked, realising that Butters looked a little cold from only wearing short shorts and a sweater.

"Oh, golly. I'm okay!" Butters said cheerily.

"Naw, dude. Here." Craig said putting down his stuff and handing Butters his jacket. Butters blushed stuttering a 'thanks' as he put on Craig's special leather jacket, Kenny watching this, interested.

"O-oh golly! But you can let me carry something?" Butters said, worried since Craig was carrying everything.

"Dude, you have the strength of a five year old girl." Craig sighed looking down at Butters.

"No I don't!" Butters pouted.

"Yes, you do." Craig said, shaking his head.

"Kenny, do I?" Butters asked swinging his head around to look at Kenny.

"Sorry dude, you do." Kenny chuckled, ruffling Butters hair. Butters huffed, crossing his arms.

"Le's go Sunshine." Craig said, heading towards the counter.

"Sunshine?" Kenny chuckled following the boys.

"O-oh, hamburgers Kenny! That's one of my nickname! Even though it's usually Rainbow Sprinkles or Sparkles." Butters said with a smile.

"And who came up with that nickname?" Kenny asked with a smirk.

"W-well, Craig did!" Butters said tilting his head to the side.

"Uh, huh." Kenny said, going over the information in his head.

"Dude, got the shit let's go now." Kenny watched as Butters and Craig walked out of the store.


	4. Boner for Butters

"Bullshit." Craig said as Clyde laid down his cards.

"Fuck!" Clyde groaned as he took the pile of cards and threw in a pair of pants in the clothes pile.

"Okay your turn Rainbow." Token said laying down with no shirt on.

"Okay, um Craig? What do I do?" Butters said, he was sitting on Craig's lap with nothing on but his underwear and one sock.

"Play your turn, your on three's." Craig grunted as he looked at Butters hand.

"O-okay, um. Two, three-"

"Bullshit." Everyone said as Butters laid down his cards.

"Josh darn it." Butters mumbled as he took off his last sock.

"Craig, you'll have to start strippin' now." Clyde said as he kept his eyes on his cards, trying to avoid the practically naked Butters.

"Remind me again why Butters is on Craig's lap?" Token asked as he looked at the two boys.

"B-butters needs a partner a-and C-Craig wouldn't give up th-the pillow." Tweek said from his seat on the couch. He didn't play Bullshit because it was 'to much pressure'.

"Craig's sitting on the pillow so Butters' is sitting on him?" Token asked, raising an eyebrow up at Craig who just took Butters hand for himself.

"This _IS_ Craig!" Clyde said.

"True." Token laughed earning the middle finger.

"Token it's your tur-" Craig was interrupted by the phone suddenly ringing.

Token sighed picking up the phone. He talked to the person on the phone till hanging up and turning towards the boys.

"Stan and those guys want us to go meet them at Whistling Willy's. I said we'd meet them after this game." Token sighed sitting down with the rest of them.

"Why'd ya do that? I hate those guys." Craig said, flipping off Token while trying to show Butters how to play properly.

"C-Craig, you h-hate every-ngh-body." Tweek said, sipping on his coffee.

"That's besides the point." Craig grumbled laying down his turn. The boys played till Clyde then Craig lost to Token. The boys got re-clothed and left to meet the others.

-

"Hey." Token said as Clyde, Tweek, Craig, Butters walked up to see Stan and those guys plus Bebe, Wendy, Heidi and Red.

"Hey guys, was up?" Stan said as he hit fists with his fellow football player, Clyde.

"Clyde just brutally lost at Bullshit." Craig said, taking a cigarette from Kenny.

"Oh hamburgers, when did you start smoking Craig?" Butters asked, pouting up at Craig, who was taking a drag from the cigarette.

"Just started." Craig said with a shrug.

"D-dude! Y-You get like cancer and t-then you'd go bald and you'd be h-hideous, dude! O-or you could like-!" Tweek was cut off by Craig putting a hand over his mouth.

"Tweek, I don't care about your AIDS or white slavery or underpants gnomes. Tweek huffed, removing Craig's hand from his mouth and glared at the boy before starting to talk with Kyle and Stan.

"C-Craig, oh hamburgers, um you r-really shouldn't smoke. It's bad for your health, a-and the people around you!" Butters said, tugging on Craig's sleeve to get his attention back to him.

"Oh, other people's health!" Craig chuckled, raising an eyebrow, "Didn't know you could be so selfish!"

"Golly, I didn't mean it like that!" Butters said looking at Craig wide eyed, slightly hysterical that his new friend found him selfish.

"Craig! Stop messing with Butters!" Token yelled over with laugh, earning the middle finger.

"He knows I'm joking, he knows me enough!" Craig said, pulling Butters into a one sided hug.

"Ya, knows you enough to sit in your lap with no pants on." Clyde laughed, trying to get back at Craig for all his 'boner for Butters' comments.(it rhymes!)

"Okay, what is that about?" Kenny asked with his signature pervert smirk, he had realised with friends Craig was different, especially with Butters. He had been watching them closer after he saw them at the corner store.

"We were playing Bullshit, he needed a partner, and he took my pillow." Craig shrugged.

"The logic of Craig!" Clyde laughed.

"Hey, Craig, Clyde, Tweek, Token! Can we talk?" Bebe asked suddenly, the boys looked at each other before following Bebe out of the restaurant.

"What's up?" Token asked, looking at Bebe.

"Only one thing." Bebe said smiling at them, "If you hurt Butters physically or emotionally I will rip you into shreds and feed the little bits and pieces to a pack of wolves and make you watch, starting with your dicks. Also I will make sure you are so low on the social ladder the ugly kids will use you as toilet paper and that you will never EVER get a girl EVER again! He's my friend, and I won't let somebody hurt my friend!" The boys watched in fear as Bebe left.

"Duuuuuuude." Craig said, watching her go back into the restaurant.

"Waahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Clyde suddenly burst into tears, and Tweek started to have a spazz attack. Making Craig and Token calm them down.

It took them awhile but they finally got back in the restaurant. When they got back they realised Butters was gone, and Bebe was yelling angrily yelling at Cartman.

"What's going on?" Craig asked looking at Cartman and Bebe.

"The little fag is crying in the bathroom and this damn dyke is yelling since I won't return her feelings or shit, since I'm so damn fine!" Cartman said, rolling his eyes for emphasis on how 'hard' this was on him.

"Why the hell is Butters crying in the bathroom?" Craig growled, looking down at Cartman.

"I don't know, goddammit! I was just telling him how you guys don't care about him and will eventually leave him!" Cartman said, before being punched in the face by Craig.

"Fuck. Token, Tweek, Bebe deal with fatass. Clyde, let's go grab Butters." Craig said, leaving with Clyde following. They all knew they wouldn't be able to get him out so they ran to the door of the bathroom, pushing there ear's to the door. Token, Tweek, Bebe and Cartman listened as Clyde and Craig tried to get Butters out of the bathroom stall. There was a lot of yelling and then the sound of skin hitting skin making all of them jump. Craig and Clyde walked out, big red hand marks on their cheeks.

"Don't call him a baby." Clyde said, Craig glaring at him.

"WE will handle him." Bebe said, pulling Tweek and Token inside. Craig, Clyde and Cartman waited till all of them, including Butters, came out laughing.

"What'd you do?" Clyde asked, looking at the group.

"We're going to go get ice-cream, chow bitches!" With that the group left, leaving the others alone.


	5. Needles Must Die

"Sooooooooooooooo Cute!" Bebe squealed, snapping photo's on her camera phone. Bebe, Craig, Clyde, Tweek, Token and Butters were all at Token's indoor pool for a swim.

"I-It's not cute -Ngh- it's precautionary!" Tweek screeched, adjusting his floaties.

"Naw, it's pretty damn adorable." Craig joked, pulling on the head of the duck floaty around his waist.

"A-At, least I'm not wearing a -Gah-…Speedo." Everyone looked towards Token, in his bright red Speedo.

"Don't be jealous of the black man's penis." Token said, doing a little pose.

"Just a stereotype, dude." Craig said, taking out a cigarette.

"Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…." The group looked over at Clyde.

"Oh, yes. Mister bisexual, the master of dicks." Craig snorted.

"_They are kinda big Craig." _Butters whispered into the boys ear.

"_How the hell did you know that?" _Craig asked.

"_Kenny lent me porn." _Craig felt his face go red as images of Butters watching porn bombarded his mind, soon joining were images of when Butters had his wet-dream, then they joined into one which made Craig quickly shoo them out of his head.

"Dude, I bet I have just as big of a dick as Token, if not bigger." Craig announced proudly, to distract himself from the images in his head.

"The reason I like hanging out with you guys, is we can go on how something looks cute, to dick size." Bebe said, a little smirk on her lips.

"We're guys, we're supposed to argue about dick size." Clyde said.

"Girls don't argue about boob size…._to each other's faces_" Bebe finished, scratching the back of her neck.

"How big are Red's?"

"Dude!" Craig yelled, throwing a towel at Clyde's head.

"What!" Clyde yelled, shrugging.

"She's my cousin, dude!" Craig yelled angrily.

"So? She is hot!" Clyde justified, laying back on one of the beach chairs.

"Her brother's hot." All whipped their heads towards Token who was standing there, not making eye contact with anyone.

"Dude?" Was all Clyde could say, looking up at his best friend.

"Um, didn't I tell you?" Token said awkwardly, starting to move around some random flower arrangement. "I'm gay."

"So? Clyde's bi. Butters gay." Craig said, instantly freezing when he meet Butters' shocked expression. "Oh...Hey! Her borther is still my cousin, dude!"

"Huh, so who's coming out next?" Bebe asked, swinging her arms back and forth.

"W-Well, I have -Ngh- something to say." Tweek said, looking away shyly.

"Nooooooooo, I can NOT be the only straight one!" Craig groaned, falling back onto his chair.

"Actually, I have a-an doctors a-Gah-appointment, a-and I need your -Gink- help." Tweek said.

"So, kidnap and rape attempt?" Craig asked with a smirk.

"Y-Ya." Tweek said blushing with a nod.

"W-What?" Butters said, looking at his friends.

"Don't worry Blondie, just wear padding and bring rope." Clyde said with a chuckle, ruffling Butters' hair.

"You ready?" Craig asked, adjusting his hockey helmet.

"Got it dude." Clyde said with a nod, football helmet bobbing, holding the blind fold up.

"Let's do this." Token announced, adjusting his helmet, dart gun in hand.

"U-Uh guys? Oh hamburgers, are ya sure about this?" All the boys looked down at Butters who was heavily padded from the help of Craig and Clyde.

"It's the only way we can get him to the doctors, Butters." Token said, bracing himself besides the door.

"Oh shucks, fine." Butters sighed, getting ready.

"K guys. One….Two…..THREE!"

Fast forward

After a fight that included random flying darts, a body bag, Craig wishing he had worn covering over his dick, and Clyde losing feeling in one ass cheek, they finally got a tied up Tweek, to the doctors office.

"Okay now Mr. Tweak, today all you need is you're hepatitis B shot." At the word shot, Tweek started dragging himself towards the door, hard since he was tied up.

"Fuck Tweek, just get down!" Craig quickly pinned the boy down to the table, Clyde helping him.

"Golly, this isn't right guys!" Butters yelled, pushing off the boys. "How about ya just calm him down!"

"Because we can't bring coffee into the doctors office." Butters sighed, sitting up on the table with Tweek, he pulled Tweek's head to his chest, running his fingers through his hair.

"Loo loo loo, I've got some apples, loo loo loo, you've got some too." As Butter softly started singing, the doctor prepared Tweek for the needle, doing the little cleaning and whatever doctors do.

"Loo loo loo, let's get together, I know what we can do loo loo." Slowly the needle went into Tweek's arm, the medicine going into Tweek's body.

"Loo loo loo, let's make some applesauce, take off our clothes and loo loo loo."

-Splash-

The medicine splashed across Tweek's arm.

"Oops, sorry. Went to fast, I don't think you got enough. I'll do it again." Butters gripped tightly onto Tweek, whipping away a few stray tears.

"What does 'loo loo loo' mean?" Clyde asked suddenly.

"Some coffee ice-cream for the big boy!" Token said, putting down the bowl in front of a very angry Tweek.

"Bite me."

"Well, aren't you a pocket full of sunshine." Token muttered, sitting down besides him.

"I think he did well, considering." Craig pointed out, eating his own ice-cream.

"Ya, no one's dead." Clyde snorted, trying to steal some of Craig's while eating his own. "And not toooooo many murder attempts. Also, I' m slowly getting feeling back in my left ass cheek."

"Good too know." Token chuckled.

"Hey guys!"

"Where have you been?" Token asked, looking up at Butters who just skipped up to them.

"Talking to Kevin!" Butters said cheerily, sitting down next to Craig.

"Poor Kevin, or Star Wars Kevin?" Clyde asked, reaching over for more ice-cream from Tweek's cup, almost losing his hand in the process.

"Kevin Stoley!" Butters said happily.

"He just came out, didn't he?" Token asked, trying to hold Tweek back from eating Clyde.

"Yes~!" Butters sang, stealing some ice-cream from Craig when he wasn't paying attention.

"We should invite him to hang sometimes, he's cool, dude." Clyde said, nodding to himself.

"Eh, he always gives me a discount on Red Racer comics, so I don't care." Craig said with a shrug.

"What are we ding in gym tomorrow?" Clyde asked suddenly.

"They're bringing some personal trainers or shit." Craig said.

"DUDE! W-What if t-they work for the -Ngh- government and a-are trying to make a a-a-!" Tweek was cut off by Token stuffing ice-cream into his mouth.

**That needle thing actually happened to me, I almost cried because I have a deathly fear of needles and I wasn't looking so like Tweek I didn't know if it was blood or medicine.**

**Sorry abouth this, it was half assed I just kind of wanted to finish this chapter. Also the first draft of this, which was much better, got deleted by accident because of my fucked up computer.**

**Little bit of a filler i guess.**


	6. MrSmith is a Perv

**I REDID IT!WOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, I'M SAVING THE OTHER ONE IF FOR SOME REASON YOU ENJOYED IT, OH WELL.**

"Sooooooooooooooo Cute!" Bebe squealed, snapping photo's on her camera phone. Bebe, Craig, Clyde, Tweek, Token and Butters were all at Token's indoor pool for a swim. And Tweek being the adorable freak he was, was wearing arm floaties, a ducky floaty around his waist, snorkle and goggle set, flippers, and flippers, over his usual swimming trunks.

"I-It's not cute -Ngh- it's precautionary!" Tweek screeched, adjusting his ducky floaty.

"Naw, the bitch is right, it's pretty damn adorable." Craig joked, pulling on the head of the duck.

"A-At, least I'm not wearing a -Gah-…Speedo." Everyone looked towards Token, his bright red Speedo on display.

"Don't be jealous of the black man's penis." Token said, doing a little pose.

"Just a stereotype, dude." Craig said, taking out a cigarette.

"Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…." The group looked over at Clyde.

"Oh, yes. Mister bisexual, the master of dicks." Craig snorted.

"_They are kinda big Craig." _Butters whispered into the boys ear.

"_How the hell did you know that?" _Craig asked.

"_Kevin showed me some pictures._" Craig felt his face go red as images of Butters looking at pictures of naked men bombarded his mind, Butters gently touching himself, soon joining were images of when Butters had his wet-dream, then they joined into one which made Craig quickly shoo them out of his head. He quickly hid it by asking, "_Kevin's gay?_"

"Dude, I bet I have just as big of a dick as Token, if not bigger." Craig announced proudly when the images came back, full force, after Butters nodded and turned away.

"The reason I like hanging out with you guys, is we can go on how something looks cute, to dick size." Bebe said, a little smirk on her lips.

"We're guys, we're supposed to argue about dick size." Clyde said.

"Girls don't argue about boob size…._to each other's faces_" Bebe finished, scratching the back of her neck.

"How big are Red's?"

"Dude!" Craig yelled, throwing a towel at Clyde's head.

"What!" Clyde yelled, shrugging.

"She's my cousin, dude!" Craig yelled angrily.

"So? She is hot!" Clyde justified, laying back on one of the beach chairs.

"Her brother's hot." All whipped their heads towards Token who was standing there, not making eye contact with anyone.

"Dude?" Was all Clyde could say, looking up at his best friend.

"Hm? Oh, I thought you guys knew I was gay?" Token said simply, shrugging.

"So? Clyde's bi. Butters gay." Craig said, instantly freezing when he meet Butters' shocked expression. "Oh…sorr-Hnk!"

Craig was quickly cut off by the lose of air way, when Bebe marched over and yanked him up by his neck. "**You KNEW!**" Bebe spat, glaring down at Craig. "**BEFORE, Me!"**

"You seriously didn't know he was gay?" Clyde snorted, pointing at Butters. "He's wearing hot pink Hello Kitty swim shorts, dude!"

"Well, I knew but I was waiting for him to tell me." Bebe said, hand still choking Craig.

"Oh hamburgers, I-it was an accident Bebe! A-and I was going to tell ya, I swear!" Butters justified, rubbing his knuckles together, "A-And what's the big problem, I-I just want ya guys to all get along!"

"You used to be MY Butters, but this jackass!" A squeeze to Craig's neck, Bebe didn't notice that tears were going down Butters' face and Craig was wiping them away.. "Is stealing you away from me!"

"Shhhhhh, you'll wake him up." Bebe turned to see Craig holding Butters, the blonde peacefully asleep.

"Jackass." Bebe huffed, stomping away. Watching as Tweek came over and curled up to.

"Hey, at least you have yoga to look forward tomorrow, right?" Clyde said, stuffing some food into his face.

"Ya, that can't be so bad."

"Okay, now! Everybody, pair off into partners and we will go over the stretching exercises."

"Okay mister Smith~!" The class sang, staring up at one of the personal trainers that was visiting their gym class.

"He is so cute~!" Butters sang, leaning on Craig with a goofy smile.

"Ya~!" Clyde sighed, looking at the teacher. Kevin, Bebe and Token nodded.

"I don't like him." Craig stated, glowering at the trainer.

"Ngh! D-Ditto." Tweek said. "H-He's creepy."

"Hey guys, you have trouble pairing off?" Mr. Smith asked, jogging up to the group. "I see you guys are uneven! I'll pair up with some one of you guys so you are even, buddies!"

"We're good." Craig growled, glaring at Mr. Smith.

"Golly, I'll be your partner!" Butters said, popping up in front of Craig.

"Naw, I'll do it. You need some one….flexible." Bebe said, tracing her finger up and down Mr. Smith's arm.

"H-Hey! I'm plenty flexible!" Butters said, hitting Bebe lightly on the arm.

"Ya, and we know you also can hump. Go find Zac Efron, okay." Clyde said, pushing Butters back. "I need help, I need to learn! You can teach ME!" Clyde said, moving forward.

"You guys are such children." Token snorted, watching them fight.

"How about I just choose randomly!" Mr. Smith said, clapping his hands together. "Okay then!"

Mr. Smith closed his eyes, waving his finger around. Stopping randomly and pointing, he opened his eyes. "And the lucky winner is….Tweek!"

"Gah! H-Help -Ngh- me!" Tweek screamed as Mr. Smith pulled him by his side.

"Okay! Butters and Craig! Kevin and Clyde! Token and Bebe!" Mr. Smith said pointing out the groups. "I'll teach your group! Okay so every body, choose one partner to lay down!"

Butters, Bebe and Kevin laid down, their partners standing in front of them.

"Okay so, kneel in front of your partner, like this." Mr. Smith said, kneeling in front of Tweek. "And your partner will put up their leg." Tweek did that. "And you put your leg over theirs, and put their raised leg on your shoulder, while they keep it straight, and go forward to stretch their leg muscle's."

Tweek blushed as the teacher demonstrated, rubbing his thigh to show how it stretches your muscles.

"Do we have to?" Bebe asked, raising her hand.

"Okay, if your not as flexible as Mr. Tweak here, you can just stretch by yourself." Mr . Smith said, still rubbing Tweek's leg much to the twitchy blonde's discomfort.

They all quickly got in their positions, Butters pulling Craig forward.

"Okay, now grab the other leg and bring it up. Lean back, removing the leg and bring the two legs together, and bring them down and see how close you can get them, try nose to legs." Mr. Smith said, demonstrating with Tweek. "Now I'll come around and check up on you guys!"

Mr. Smith started walking around, checking up on the other pairs. Most stretching more when Mr. Smith came by.

"Okay Craig, you got to get closer. Move your hips into Butters." Mr . Smith said, shoving Craig's hips forward.

"Oh, -Ngh- he k-knows how to -Gah- d-do that!" Tweek snorted, making the two blush.

"Well, I just look so much like Zac Efron, Butters can't help himself." Craig laughed.

"Ya, in your dreams." Bebe called over.

"No, Butters dreams!" Clyde said, laughing.

"Oh hamburgers, you guys are never going to let that go! I was asleep!" Butters wailed, smacking his head on the floor.

"Fine, I don't look like Zac Efron….I just have his body." Craig smirked, pushing Butters leg's down further.

"Ya, but I still have the biggest dick!" Token pronounced, laughing a bit.

"At least in this group I have the biggest boobs!" Bebe laughed.

"I'm not so sure!" Kevin called, looking over at Bebe. "Clyde's look pretty big from here."

"Ya, Clyde's -Ngh- catching up w-with you." Tweek said, Mr. Smith back to helping them stretch.

"Okay guys, let's switch positions!" The group switched positions, following Mr. Smith's instructions so the strongest person was on their hands and feet, ass in the air. With the smallest person on their back, hands connected with the strongest person, and feet in the air.

"Hey! Don't mock the moobs!" Clyde said, though it can out a little muffled from his position. "Just because we can stick you in a key hole, doesn't mean you have to mock us more…..rounded people."

"Oh! So, I'm not skinny?" Bebe said, glaring over at Clyde.

"You are! It just that with those boobs, you could only get so far." Craig laughed.

"I won't take offence because beside's Tweek, you're the only one's who likes boobs." Bebe sniffled.

"Hey! I'm bi! So I still love your tits, babe!" Clyde laughed.

"Okay class! Now we are gonna switch partners! Guys, get on your backs!" The people switched, going into the first stretching activity again.

"God Craig! You're as flexible as a horse." Bebe snorted, looking over at said boy.

"Sorry that I can't bend myself like a pretzel." Craig muttered, flipping her off.

"Oh shucks, don't worry, Craig! I still like ya!" Butters chuckled, pushing Craig's legs down further. "Though Zac Efron I-is much more flexible!"

"Okay everyone, switch positions!" Mr. Smith said, everyone looking up at him.

Bebe raised her arm, looking at the teacher. "May I object?"

"Nope!" All partners looked at each other awkwardly, before trying to get in their positions.

"Oh hamburgers, I-I'm falling!" Butters squealed, the weight of Craig making his hands keep sliding.

"This doesn't feel right." Bebe said, her body locked in place.

"Yoda give me strength." Kevin muttered, knee's buckling under Clyde weight.

Suddenly….

"GAHHHHHHHHHH!" Tweek, who was on his hands and feet, bolted up so fast that Mr. Smith flew off his back and to the ground. Tweek charged at Token, pushing Bebe off, and attaching himself to the tall teenager.

"What's wrong, you okay Tweek?" Token asked, looking down at the twitching boy.

"H-HE'S A PERVERT! GAH! T-TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Tweek screamed, pointing at Mr. Smith wildly.

"Tweek, he's supposed to get on your back!" Clyde laughed, trying to stay from falling off of Kevin's back.

"I-IS HE -NGH- SUPPOSED T-TO GET A -GNK- BONER!" Everyone instantly froze, looking from Tweek to Mr. Smith. Suddenly Token snapped, walking forward. "Hello, Mr. Smith? I'm Token Black, son of the VERY rich Steve Token, the lawyer. Do you ENJOY the feeling of teenage boys? Or is it just my friend, you sick pervert? Please, it might help your case, before I get my father to sue your ass. So get this, touch my Tweek again, and I'll make sure you don't have one. Cent. Left." Token said, poking the man in the chest.

"Your Tweek?" Mr. Smith questioned, looking at Token with a small smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't know he was in a relationship. Not my fault, you guys don't really look like a couple."

"Well, we ARE a couple, Mr. Smith." Token growled, grabbing Tweek and pulling him to his side.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Black." Mr. Smith said, nodding towards Token. Token just nodded, turning Tweek's head towards him. Soon, Token had his mouth forced upon Tweek's, slipping his tongue into the paralyzed Tweek's mouth.

"Tweek's gonna be pissed once Token's done."

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh! I can't feel my balls." Craig groaned as Butters gently laid an ice bag on his eye.

"I-I said I was sorry, Craig! Oh gosh, I don't know what else to do?" Butters pouted, removing Craig's hat and wiping some hair out of Craig's face.

"You could kiss it better." Clyde snorted, playing with the skeleton in the nurse's office.

"Like Token kissed me." Tweek growled, he was sitting the complete opposite side of Token, glaring at the dark skinned boy.

"Here's the ice for your nose." Kevin said, handing the bag to Butters to lay on Craig's face.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhh." Craig hissed, making a new wave of apologies come from Butters.

"You shouldn't apologize to the perv, Butters." Bebe snarled, wrinkling her nose. "He deserved it."

"It was all Stan and those guys, they bring bad luck." Craig said, trying to get comfortable. "God I hate those guys."

_Flashback_

"_Tweek's gonna be pissed once Token's done." Craig snorted, getting up. Suddenly, Cartman ran through, Kyle chasing after him, usefully knocking over Craig. He shot his hand out, catching himself on a bump on the wall, squeezing it and leaning on the wall for balance._

_It took about five seconds for Craig to look over, and realise that he was not leaning on wall, and his hand was not squeezing a bump on the wall._

_-Pow-_

"_Sonofabitch!" Craig groaned, clutching his nose, other hand flipping off Bebe._

"_Pervert." Bebe growled, covering her chest protectively._

"_Fucking bitch, it was an accident! It's all fatass' and the faggy je-!" Craig fell back, tripping on Kenny's dead body. He reached out for the second time that day, he grabbed onto some material pulling it down with him._

_Butters squeaked, feeling something pulling him down by the back of his pants. Scared he swung his elbow back, hitting the object in the eye._

"_Fuck!" Butters got up and turned around, watching Craig stumble up and walk backwards, holding his face. He swung one arm down, trying to get a grip on something to hold him up, to end up with a handful of Tweek's arse._

_Everyone watched as Tweek elbowed him in the eye, just liked Butters did, then bringing his head down to his knee, hitting his nose. Tweek finished off with his signature move, a kick in the balls._

_End of Flashback_

"Hey Clyde, your right!" Bebe said happily. "I had tons of fun!"


	7. READ

**THIS NOTICE WILL BE TAKEN DOWN IN ONE WEEK**

**ATTENTION, IF ANY OUT THERE, ALL READERS**

**I HAVE LOST INTREST IN SOUTH PARK FANSTUFFAND WRITING, I MYSELF HAVE NOT LOOKED AT ANY FANART IN FOREVER AND ONLY KEEP IN FOCUS ANY ONESHOTS THAT CATCH MY EYE OR STORIES I HAVE STARTED READING AND JUST WAITING FOR UPDATES**

**SOME OF MY STORIES I WILL BE CONTINUING AND I WILL PROBABLY POST ONESHOTS TIME TO TIME, BUT RARELY. I AM GOING TO TRY TO GET BACK IN THE WRITING GROVE NOW MY COMPUTER HAS STARTED WORKING AGAIN BUT IT'LL BE HARD**

**ONE'S I AM DISCONTINUING ARE**

**-LOLO, I GOT SOME APPLES (i am really sad that i am stopping writing this one, but i can't think of anything else. may have a rewrite or a new CraigxButters story)**

**-MINIBUDDIES**

**-PHSYCOTIC LOBSTERS TASTE GREAT WITH COFFEE (sadly i stopped before the chapter with the phsycotic lobster)**

**-SMILEY TOWN VS. TREASURE ISLAND (possible rewrite, much darker rewrite)**

**I AM UNSURE OF A SIMPLE KISS DONT BET ON IT THERE MIGHT ONLY BE ONE NEW POST THEN IT WILL DISSAPEAR TILL (IF) I GET MY ASS IN GEAR**

**I AM CONTINUING MY STOLOVAN STORY AND MY NEW MASTER AND SERVANT, COFFEE AND INDOOR HOTTUBS, ALSO I WILL POST MY CRAIGXTOKEN STORY THAT WILL PROBABLY BE CALLED GET IT UP. THOSE WILL MOST LIKELY BE THE ONLY ONES I WILL CONTINUE IF I CANT GET MY ASS IN GEAR FOR A SIMPLE KISS AND THIS OTHER SOTRY I WONT TALK ABOUT BECAUSE IT KEEPS CHANGING**

**I AM GOING TO TRY TO GET AT LEAST ONE STORY UPDATED IN THE NEXT OONE OR TWO WEEKS, MOST LIKELY IT WOULD BE HOW THE NUMBER GUY FELL IN LOVE WITH THE DUMBASS OR POSTING MY CRAIGXTOKEN STORY...OR MAYBE BOTH IF I KEEP MY FINGERS CROSSED**


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